A tough Sunday Gospel

We hear a difficult teaching in the Gospel today. Here Fr Tommy Lane asks whether there is anything that can help us to forgive those who have hurt us.
These are some suggestions that I offer to people from time to time:

  • Forgiveness is a decision not an emotion. Hopefully our emotions will follow our decision to forgive but firstly we must decide to forgive.
* Forgiveness does not mean blotting out painful memories but it means not acting out of them. That is why when the hurt is deep therapy may be necessary to free us from acting out of past negative experiences.
  • When people have difficulty forgiving a hurt I sometimes say to people to repeat to themselves, “I will not allow that person to control my life. I take control of my life back from that person. From now on I will control my life.”
* Another thought that can help us to forgive is to remember that Jesus died to save the other person just as he died to save you. Try to visualize the person beneath Jesus on the cross. Can you see Jesus dying for that person?
  • Sometimes people say they will forgive if the other person makes an apology. I think that is in some way connected with wanting to control the other person. Forgiving somebody involves giving up the need for an apology and the need to control or dominate the person who hurt us. Surrendering the need to expect them to ask forgiveness frees us to forgive them.

From a homily by Fr Tommy Lane www.frtommylane.com